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Series Influence of Emotions III – Managing Anger in Negotiations

Soft Skills Lab Analysis Team

10 Apr, 2024

Anger is a powerful and frequently present emotion in negotiations, particularly in situations of conflict or when the interests of the parties are deeply at stake. The presence of this emotion can become an obstacle to the progress of discussions, affecting clarity of thought and reducing the ability of the parties to make rational decisions. In this article, we will explore how anger can negatively influence negotiations and the best ways to manage it in order to maintain emotional control.

Anger as a Distorter of Negotiation:

One of the most detrimental effects of anger in negotiation is its ability to distort perception. When people are angry, they tend to see situations in a more simplified way, classifying the positions of their counterparts as “bad” or “threatening,” even if they are not objectively so. This polarized view affects the ability to see potential creative solutions and foster agreements that benefit both parties.

Anger can also impact how negotiators communicate their ideas. Instead of expressing their needs clearly and reasonably, communication becomes hostile or defensive, increasing tension. A conversation that begins to escalate emotionally is more likely to end in an impasse or, in the worst case, a complete breakdown of dialogue.

The Cycle of Provocation and Response:

Anger can trigger a dangerous cycle of provocation and response. In negotiation, aggressive behavior or derogatory words can provoke an equally intense response from the counterpart. This cycle can quickly intensify, leading the parties into an escalation that completely deviates from the primary goal of the negotiation: reaching a beneficial agreement.

When anger is present, communication breaks down, and the negotiators’ focus shifts from seeking solutions to defending their positions. This dynamic creates an environment where emotions take control, and the ability to compromise fades.

Strategies for Managing Anger in Negotiation:

  1. Recognize and accept the emotion: The first step in managing anger is recognizing its presence. Trying to ignore or suppress it will only make it stronger, more deeply affecting the decision-making process. Instead, it is crucial to accept that anger is a valid emotion, but it should not dictate the course of the negotiation.
  2. Take a breath: The age-old technique of “counting to ten” remains relevant. Taking a brief break can help reduce the level of emotional intensity, allowing the parties to reorganize their thoughts and refocus on the objectives of the negotiation.
  3. Separate the person from the problem: It is essential not to personalize the negotiation. Anger often arises when a personal attack is perceived. By remembering that the conflict is about a problem and not about the person themselves, a more rational focus can be maintained.
  4. Use neutral language: Inflamatory language tends to fuel anger. Using a calm tone and avoiding words that suggest confrontation or disdain helps to de-escalate emotional tension.
  5. Reframe the situation: Trying to see the negotiation from a broader and less emotional perspective can help reduce the intensity of anger. Reflecting on common interests and the ultimate goal can shift the focus from immediate feelings to the joint success.

Positive Impact of Anger Management:

When negotiators are able to manage anger effectively, they can restore a climate of cooperation. The ability to stay calm in difficult situations not only improves the quality of decisions but also builds trust between the parties. A negotiator who demonstrates self-control is perceived as more trustworthy and competent, which increases the chances of reaching satisfactory agreements.

Proper anger management also contributes to the preservation of long-term relationships. In many cases, negotiations do not end with a single agreement but are part of an ongoing relationship. Controlling anger can prevent irreparable damage to these relationships, keeping the door open for future interactions.

Conclusion: Anger is an inevitable emotion in many negotiations, but its presence does not have to be destructive. By learning to manage it effectively, negotiators can prevent this emotion from dominating conversations and diverting the course of negotiations. By recognizing its impact, implementing control strategies, and maintaining a problem-solving attitude, negotiators can maintain emotional control and achieve better outcomes.

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